A few tweaks for the Games (Part 1)

(Part Two here)

The Olympics need to be changed. I have been telling people this for years, and recently I decided to codify my opinions in a single place, so that I would have a reference point for my occasional rants (yes really). This is that place.

Every four years we are drowned in a massive number of events over a ridiculous period of time, and every time people wonder why we keep adding sports, and basically making the entire thing complicated and unwatchable. Don’t even start me on the fact that some of these events involve animals, medieval weapons or convoluted methods of movement that while not the fastest are somehow considered worthy of inclusion (walking, butterfly, etc.).

So I have devised a series of rules to reduce the number of events, and I will then look at how that would impact the overall event.

Rule number 1: No animals.

Really, why did anyone ever think allowing circus tricks into a sporting event was a good idea? I’m sure it is hard to make Buttercup walk backwards, but I don’t see the point and I object to giving someone a medal for it.

The requirement for horses merely serves to ensure that the ultra-rich and royalty get to have an event they can participate in to the exclusion of everyone else. We just get to watch them on the sidelines and cheer. Enough.

So sorry Dressage, Eventing, Jumping, and especially Modern Pentathlon (because you just use random horses, and who cares which person is the best at simulating the experience of a 19th century cavalry soldier behind enemy lines?), but you are gone.

Having removed stupid pet tricks from my new Olympics we shall now focus on a more controversial topic in my next post….