A few tweaks for the Games (Part 5)

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Final)

So there is one major rule that I wish to impose left, and that is around… equipment.

Rule Number 5: No fancy equipment.

Equipment in the Olympics has always lead to a basic inequality between athletes. Every medal in the track cycling in 1984 was decided by the new disc wheels, and cycling continues with ever changing technologies to this day.

Some sports are more susceptible to the performance of their equipment than others (cycling, shooting, rowing) but the fact remains that even such simple things as the javelin is affected by technological development.

So farewell Track Cycling, Archery, Badminton, Rowing, Shooting, Hockey, Table Tennis, Triathlon (don’t start me on domestiques), Pole Vault, Discus, Hammer and Javelin, you have been thrown out of the party.

I have decided everyone can share a metal ball (nice and simple), and so Shot Put can stay. Similarly Weightlifting, where everyone uses the same weights.

Other changes I would propose…

Weightlifting.

Weight lifting is a great concept, but we need to get rid of weight classes (who cares how much small people can lift?!?) and also this idea about ‘snatches’ and ‘jerks’, very odd. One event, the person that can lift the heaviest weight wins.

Swimming

Freestyle is the only stroke, in other words you can swim any way you like, but the first person to the end wins.

Athletics

Triple Jump is gone, as it is just strange, and clearly the product of a deranged mind.

Middle distance events (1,500 – 10,000) are also eliminated as they are just people trying to run as slow as possible until the last lap. The intent was to see who could run the distance the fastest, not who had the best 'kick'. The Steeplechase does not have these issues, so it can be the middle distance event that is left.

The Decathlon  and Heptathlon

The Decathlon will have to be reduced to seven events (as Discus throw, Pole vault and Javelin throw have to go) we will leave in the 1500 metres, as the points come from the time and not from how well you ‘kick’.  We should also make it over just one day, because, really.

The Heptathalon will be reduced to six events (no Javelin), and also will require only one day.

Once I have recovered from this rant fully, we shall view what remains...